woohoo! 2008 dormitory party!
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2008 dormitory Christmas party! XD January 8, 2009
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happy new year! January 7, 2009
what a day!
whew.
this last sunday,
that was, clearly late afternoon when we started to hit the road..
i went with my mother(who drove the car), my sister(an older cousin) and my littlest baby brother(who is turning 8 soon).
we went to my old boarding house to pick up the things that
i have left in the place..
err…it was kinda awkward..
the people didn’t wanted me to leave..
tita emily even claimed that i didn’t told her i’d be leaving..
well, that part was true..
and that was really rude of me,
though she also added that indeed she has known my plans,
but she also thought that i wasn’t going to transfer anyways,
since, i told her that i dont want to leave..(that was latter, when i got to know the people around me better)and i said that the place that i am tranferring to is kind of scary..
and that i dont want to be scared silly..
sigh…
in the end i still am rude for not telling her beforehand that i am leaving her place…
i gave my lame apologies.. told her that i was so ashamed of myself, that i didn’t know how to start, nor what to tell her…
and it’s irritating me too..
sigh…
it’s a good thing that i was forgiven.
oh, Lord, i thank You for that.
sheessh…it’s a good thing i am still young(or so they think)..
they made it as an excuse for my behavior..
lol.i wont deny anything.XD
i love spontaneous things, things that go naturally, things that are real. ^_^
in any case i really admire Mother Nature, the craftiness…the beauty of it all..and it’s all just natural.
sigh, we then turned to the supposedly new place..
rawr. i was scared with it myself, not adding the irritation that has been building up on my mother directly towards me.
you see, my mother is a very nice woman, and she was devastated
that i didnt even bother to let the other involved people know of my plans. >__<
it’s so lonely..
that at the middle of the night i keep waking up,
just to see if i have received any messages..
sigh..
i really miss them…
I NEVER KNEW I CAN BE THIS HOME-SICK.
i think it’s pretty normal.
the last time, i was so shocked that i didn’t know at first why there’s something that is dripping off of my face, i knew then i had runny nose, but not that bad..
until i realized that it was clear and warm liquid uncontrollably breaking its way out..i was crying, and for all the good that it did to me, i didn’t know why, and i cant stop it from flowing. it felt a bit shocking to me, i was stunned of how much tears that was…i can see my own tears…its really flowing..at rapid succession..
where did all that stuff came from…and that much? why?
although i know myself better not to be shocked for that one..
it really isn’t new. i had cried a lot. and lately, i have been doing that quite often.
i am so easily flattered, easily disgusted, easily annoyed, easy to please..
i find myself so easy to be happy, sad, irritated, all the same.
quite sensitive….i don’t think so. sigh, sensitive, if being so can help me learn people better, then it’s a good thing. sigh… easily hurt.
but crying isn’t only for sad people.
sometimes i feel like crying out of joy,
sometimes i cry because of humiliation, i feel so ashamed of myself, when i feel like getting angry, and then coming to realization that it’s not good to be angry.
whichever.
sigh. i want to eat.
i am hungry again.
lol
whatelse..
hmmm….
i was with a friend early today.
and she told me quite a lot.
she told me that she now have a boyfriend.
that guy, i wasn’t exactly surprised, i told her,
added that i knew something was brewing.
^^
she revealed that they weren’t even a month going out yet..
it’s still fresh..
well,
later that day…
she mentioned something like…
” i think, i wanted an older brother”
she’s a freshman, the guy was a senior.
gosh, i didn’t knew the guy was that old.
i mean in comparison to our age,
but for a second thought he’s actually not that far..
nope, my batchmate is 19, that’s a sophomore..
lol. it’s funny to hear first years call me “ate”
(it’s the filipino version of “older sister”)
when some of them had already had their debut…XD
so silly fun.
but i don’t want to reveal my real age to them.
for when they do, they wont believe it.
and that will be something to look forward to.
so yeah, my friend….
i kind of felt how she feels…
i somehow feel that most of the time..
but i think i know how to handle her..
^_^
the next time i see her,
i’ll tell her what i think about it..
it must be…
the hormonal imbalance.
kidding!
i mean, she must be longing for someone to care for her,
protect her, look after her, love her..
i think that she must have been just really sad…
she’s told me that she has left Leave Of Absence..
she wanted to shift her college course…
sigh…
and she thinks she’s suicidal.
sigh….
i told her one thing: I’ve been there.
^_^
i have been depressed for a time, even without knowing i am already being depressed all the while…lol. i’ve lost count on how many times i have tried to think of ways to end my life. to be free of pain. to rest. because i was so tired.
sheeesshh..that was ages…
i am different now.
because now, i have my God.
i’ll have to help that girl..
she mentioned something like “if we break up, i don’t know, i might not be able to attend worship like before, i think for until he’s graduated”
also, she mentioned something about text messages…
she said that he’s always busy…
i told her that it’s all normal.
he’ll be busy, that’s pretty normal especially he’s a senior.
^_^
but what i felt from her, is that it’s not like other girls that i know of,
the girls that i know, they go crazy when the(this is so funny..haha) even the NAME. lol. just the simple name.. they go crazy. like, cant stop themselves from smiling, and then feeling so giddy, and not realizing that they are gushing all over the guy. lol.
that was how it is supposed to be, isn’t it?
but…i am afraid…i didn’t see it quite loud in her..
she’s so still… she thinks its just that.
sigh…
i asked if her problem with the guy is that he’s been ultra super busy that he didn’t have time left for her?
she didn’t deny that, only grew more silent, so i changed the question, asked her if she sends him messages frequently… she said, that if he doesn’t want to reply, then its fine, no texting. >_>
whatever was the guy’s problem was.
he’s irritating.
my girl here, is a very shy and sweet girl…
and him???
what does he do??
i mean, does a “im busy” reply hurt?
gosh, and they had only started going out..
and they’re already like this.
>__>
that’s really sweet. if he’s not all day not making anything to contact the lady,
duh. he’s courted her. gosh. >__<
lol. i only say that. don’t believe those words.
hahahaha. sickeningly, on my part..
even a single text can make my day.
that’s how simple i am.
lol. how few words can make me forget all the worries and pain…
XD
see?
from whom..you ask?
no? you’re not asking?
lol. it’s from my friends.^_^
of course.
sigh….
oh well….
kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
i’m so excited..
to receive messages…
from…
XD
the people i cherish.
good day to all.
remember that time is precious.
we can never turn back time.
so, whatever it is that we can do today.
do it now.
or you may lose your chance of doing it forever.
we will never know.
so cherish the moments that we have today.
GODBLESS US ALL!
