Of this post. February 3, 2010

I really missed posting.
But I rarely get to go online these days.

I have returned to the old fashioned handwriting…XD

I might actually quit blogging.
There’s just simply A LOT of things…changing.

I have to move on.

I have to. I need to.
I am a very personal person. I treat things very especially, always.

It had always been a difficult thing for me to let go of things.
But I have realized, that, for me to be able to move on, is to let things of the past remain in the past.

Learn from my experiences, and walk forward.

I have to move forward.

I need to.

And I want to.

Hosanna – Hillsong United January 21, 2010

I truly love this song.

Oh my 2009 January 7, 2010

If there’s anything I’ve learned in 2009.. It’d be that

ruining your life as revenge is never worth it.

I have learned that in the end, there’s only me.

And GiVING UP on everything that I have believed in is SO NOT WORTH IT.

Afterall, there are other people who cares about me and loves me the way I am, already.

I shouldn’t let myself be so affected by grumpy and non-appreciative folks around me, I have my own life, and they do not crumple that for me.

I wish to live my life and be who I really am. To be proud and be able to scream to the world, that I don’t need tricks to have a contented and fulfilled life I am living for God.

Its all thanks to God that I’m still here. Gratitude for sending me angels when I needed them.

I long to be a young woman after God’s own heart.

25 Reasons December 30, 2009

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//

“We don’t have to be with them all the time, ignoring all our other work.” Though it may come as a major surprise to guys, they are not the only thing in a girl’s life. There’s stuff, you know, things to do. Classes to attend, chapters to study, phonecalls to make, movies to go to. In short, they are busy, busy, busy. And as soon as a girl turns into a gf, she is expected to leave work and play and attend to her guy-constantly. “We don’t have to look good all the time.” About 89 percent of a girl’s pocket money gets, well, uuuh, okaayyy, wasted on various shades, shapes and sizes of clothes, shoes and make-up. The rest (and more if possible) of her time goes in applying this variety of stuff to herself. After all this effort, what will your bf say? Nothing. Usually, he won’t even notice. Not worth the trouble, gals. “Talking on the phone will not become a strict rule.” There is a difference between need and want. However, a brand of human being, called ‘the boyfriend’, is totally unaware of this fact. Girls like talking on the phone, yes, but only when they want to. Would you want to face a sitch where your fave pastime becomes a necessity? “We can have a new date every Saturday.” Aha! Who doesn’t want that?! But, and this is not an ordinary ‘but’, enter the bf (yes, the dragon) and out goes your plan of dating other guys straight through the window. No matter how much you-can-be-friends-with-anybody kind of talk happens before you start going around, once that guy turns into a bf, well, let’s say-Things Change. “We don’t have to give a minute-by-minute account of where we went and what we did to anyone.” If you have a bf you probably know better, but for the benefit of the beginner, one simple test-tell your guy that you were out somewhere. Do it, just try. At first all he’s likely to say is ‘you were?’, but wait till you say ‘yeah’ in return. You will hear so many whos, wheres and whys that you will soon question why he’s there at all! “We can give time to our other friends.” A friend in need is a friend indeed, but if you are going to depend on a bf to be around in times of need, well, best of luck. What is sure to happen is that you are going to lose out on your other friends, what with your days, hours and seconds occupied by him. And, where there is no friend… there still remains need, only no one to attend to it. “No worries, no compromises, no promises and not many disappointments.” If we could throw worries, compromises, promises and disappointments far, far, away from our lives forever, ah! What a life that would be… but that’s a bit of wishing high, isn’t it? There’s nothing stopping you, though, from getting rid of some of these evils. Like… huh… boyfriends? “We won’t lose our peace of mind.” We hope none of you are out to attain nirvana yet, but that doesn’t mean a girl can’t want her bit of peace. Boyfriends never agree with anything that you think, say or do. Fight over this and fight over that… basically, everything. Stay clear. Peace. “We can enjoy watching a cricket match.” Wonder who told guys that they have the sole right to understand any sport, leave alone cricket, which is more Indian than the national anthem. First, they hate it if you like a ‘guy thing’ like cricket. Then, every time you cheer, the shot was nothing great. Ufff! Not only are they not fun themselves, they won’t even let you have fun by yourself! “We don’t have to listen to their endless advice.” One would think that to have parents is torture enough, what with all the don’t do thises and don’t do thates. But, if you thought that is torture, wonder what will you call what happens to a girl with a bf. Boyfriends have read in some book (obviously a misprint) that they are responsible for their gfs’, well, life. So, having a bf means having two sets of parents. You dig? “We don’t have to feel bad about deceiving someone and can be guilt free!” If you are getting rid of the evils, why not do away with another one-guilt. You get really sweet on a guy, but one fine day realize… uh oh, it’s getting a bit too sweet. Whaddyado? If you tell him straight, he deflates like a balloon. And guilt stares right at you. A for Avoid. “We can breathe more.” Boyfriends are a dangerous breed, they cling to you, stay around you all the time, and, if you get a moment away, you’ll probably find them lurking about somewhere in the dark. Stickers, that’s the word. “We can talk about our celeb crushes without anyone turning green in colour.” Teen years are the most easily influenced time of our lives. But, if every time we wanna get influenced by a cute hunk and get totally bowled over by him and our bfs come fuming to us, how are we supposed to get influenced? Blocking experience, that’s what bfs do. “If we had a bf, we would want/have to be totally like him, and you can only be cool when you are different.” Well, we can hear some voices saying ‘then don’t be like him’, but these voices obviously belong to girls who have not yet experienced what it is like to have a bf. If you don’t get mushed up enough to lose your identity yourself, they will want you to be like them. And there goes your identity again, and you can’t let it go just like that, yaar! “I can spend all my money on me!” Money, hmmm… we were beginning to miss it. Girls seem to lead a not very money-oriented life. It’s funny how, as soon as you have a bf, strange sounding occasions to celebrate crop up from every nook and cranny, and celebration means gift means money. No bf, no gift. You can treat yourself instead! “We’ll have more intellectual discussions with our friends.” Listening to girls talk can be quite educational to people who want to study human behaviour. Take two groups of girls. One with girls who have bfs and the other with girls who are living happily. Just listen to them talk to each other. You will know to what extent bfs corrupt girls’ conversation, if we can call it that. “We can talk to other boys without anybody trying to listen to every word.” If you have friends, you gotta talk. I mean, isn’t this one of the universal rules or something? But, how can you talk to someone when there is a ear trying to steal every word before you say it? You might find a you-can-talk-to-other-guys kind of bf but what you will never find, girls, is a bf without The Ear. “We can have loads of guy friends and get a lot of attention.” C’mon, don’t look shocked, after all, one of you have said it! And who doesn’t like a little, okay, a lot of attention? Especially when it comes from the opposite sex. Find us someone who says she doesn’t and we’ll find you a pink panther. If you already agree with us, and are wondering ’so what’s the deal?’, think boyfriend, jealousy, and the result. “We don’t have to lie to our parents for going out.” Lying must be one of the easiest gateways to Hell. And from what we’ve heard of it, it’s not a very happenin’ joint. The solution is simple-don’t lie. But, can you see yourself telling your parents that you are going out/talking with your boyfriend? Hehehehehe! “No bf, no warmth… therefore life is cool. And cool rules!!!” If guys thought they are the only ones who thought of this… surpriiieeese! It’s pretty cool, though. The thought. And pretty simple as well-if you don’t have a hot, hot affair, you won’t get into hot, hot problems and life will remain… cool, cool, cool!!! “We can enjoy receiving blank calls.” It’s so wonderful-well, sometimes anyway-to receive a call in the darkness of the night. Playing the guessing game, who could it be, could he be the cute guy you want him to be?! As soon as you have a bf, out goes any such wonderful thought. You always know who it is. In one word-boring. “FREEDOM!” U2 says “We only fly, we only fly, for freedom…”. Wish somebody would go and tell them it’s not quite an easy thing to do, you know, flying and all. If it were, you’d probably see everybody floating right above your heads. So, we try and get freedom in every little way that we can. Get a bf and it’s a step, no, leap backwards. Don’t just believe us, try it. “We can keep dreaming about our future love rather than clinging to one already.” We should dream, always. So, we dream about our future and build up this ideal life with a great job, greater fame and the greatest guy ever! And then comes along a bf and whooosh goes your dream. I mean, you aren’t counting on your bf being that dreamguy, are you?! “We don’t have to be insecure all the time.” God, there’s no end to the list of evils! Here’s another one-insecurity. First, you suffer days and months at length getting chased by-or chasing-a guy, and then, you get him. You keep wondering (wonder why) whether he really loves you, whether he’s telling the truth, where he really is… not good, not good. “We can cry, laugh, do whatever we want while watching a movie.” If you cry, you are over-senti, if you laugh out loud, you are insanely kiddish, if you sit through a movie silently, you are an expressionless, cold-hearted person. There’s no way you can get your movie-watching habits just right for your boyfriend. The moral of the story-if you wanna enjoy your movies, leave your guy at the popcorn stall. Forever. http://www.thaneweb.com/teensworld/feature_022_ttwentyfive_reasons.htm

Oh. Life. December 8, 2009

WOW.

with all my learned vocabularies and everything else, all i can say about life is really simply, wow.

I initially thought that I had always wanted to talk, thought I wanted to share my feelings and thoughts,

but now, I can feel doubt. I no longer am sure if I can open myself anymore.

I learned how fragile human beings truly were.

Very easily compromised.

Reality is that everywhere is the existence of temptations.

Its a hard life, and its worth it.

Believe in God. He is all there is to it.

Find strength in God, you can always find rest in Him.

GOD IS GOOD….ALL THE TIME!!! March 16, 2009

These are nice, I have never seen Christian Cartoons before, enjoy!

Concentrate on this Sentence

‘To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.’ When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence… ‘The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.’ Something good will happen to you today; something that you have been waiting to hear.

Do not break!

Send it to all your friends… JUST DO IT!

2008 dormitory Christmas party! XD January 8, 2009

woohoo! 2008 dormitory party!

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600" caption="another group shot!!XD"][/caption]

happy new year! January 7, 2009

what a day!
whew.

this last sunday,
that was, clearly late afternoon when we started to hit the road..
i went with my mother(who drove the car), my sister(an older cousin) and my littlest baby brother(who is turning 8 soon).

we went to my old boarding house to pick up the things that
i have left in the place..
err…it was kinda awkward..
the people didn’t wanted me to leave..
tita emily even claimed that i didn’t told her i’d be leaving..
well, that part was true..
and that was really rude of me,
though she also added that indeed she has known my plans,
but she also thought that i wasn’t going to transfer anyways,
since, i told her that i dont want to leave..(that was latter, when i got to know the people around me better)and i said that the place that i am tranferring to is kind of scary..
and that i dont want to be scared silly..
sigh…
in the end i still am rude for not telling her beforehand that i am leaving her place…
i gave my lame apologies.. told her that i was so ashamed of myself, that i didn’t know how to start, nor what to tell her…

and it’s irritating me too..
sigh…
it’s a good thing that i was forgiven.
oh, Lord, i thank You for that.
sheessh…it’s a good thing i am still young(or so they think)..
they made it as an excuse for my behavior..
lol.i wont deny anything.XD

i love spontaneous things, things that go naturally, things that are real. ^_^
in any case i really admire Mother Nature, the craftiness…the beauty of it all..and it’s all just natural.

sigh, we then turned to the supposedly new place..

rawr. i was scared with it myself, not adding the irritation that has been building up on my mother directly towards me.

you see, my mother is a very nice woman, and she was devastated
that i didnt even bother to let the other involved people know of my plans. >__<

it’s so lonely..
that at the middle of the night i keep waking up,
just to see if i have received any messages..
sigh..
i really miss them…

I NEVER KNEW I CAN BE THIS HOME-SICK.

i think it’s pretty normal.

the last time, i was so shocked that i didn’t know at first why there’s something that is dripping off of my face, i knew then i had runny nose, but not that bad..
until i realized that it was clear and warm liquid uncontrollably breaking its way out..i was crying, and for all the good that it did to me, i didn’t know why, and i cant stop it from flowing. it felt a bit shocking to me, i was stunned of how much tears that was…i can see my own tears…its really flowing..at rapid succession..
where did all that stuff came from…and that much? why?
although i know myself better not to be shocked for that one..
it really isn’t new. i had cried a lot. and lately, i have been doing that quite often.

i am so easily flattered, easily disgusted, easily annoyed, easy to please..
i find myself so easy to be happy, sad, irritated, all the same.

quite sensitive….i don’t think so. sigh, sensitive, if being so can help me learn people better, then it’s a good thing. sigh… easily hurt.

but crying isn’t only for sad people.
sometimes i feel like crying out of joy,
sometimes i cry because of humiliation, i feel so ashamed of myself, when i feel like getting angry, and then coming to realization that it’s not good to be angry.

whichever.
sigh. i want to eat.
i am hungry again.
lol

whatelse..

hmmm….

i was with a friend early today.
and she told me quite a lot.

she told me that she now have a boyfriend.
that guy, i wasn’t exactly surprised, i told her,
added that i knew something was brewing.
^^

she revealed that they weren’t even a month going out yet..

it’s still fresh..

well,
later that day…

she mentioned something like…

” i think, i wanted an older brother”

she’s a freshman, the guy was a senior.
gosh, i didn’t knew the guy was that old.
i mean in comparison to our age,
but for a second thought he’s actually not that far..
nope, my batchmate is 19, that’s a sophomore..

lol. it’s funny to hear first years call me “ate”
(it’s the filipino version of “older sister”)
when some of them had already had their debut…XD

so silly fun.
but i don’t want to reveal my real age to them.
for when they do, they wont believe it.
and that will be something to look forward to.

so yeah, my friend….

i kind of felt how she feels…

i somehow feel that most of the time..

but i think i know how to handle her..

^_^

the next time i see her,
i’ll tell her what i think about it..

it must be…
the hormonal imbalance.
kidding!

i mean, she must be longing for someone to care for her,
protect her, look after her, love her..
i think that she must have been just really sad…
she’s told me that she has left Leave Of Absence..
she wanted to shift her college course…
sigh…
and she thinks she’s suicidal.

sigh….

i told her one thing: I’ve been there.

^_^

i have been depressed for a time, even without knowing i am already being depressed all the while…lol. i’ve lost count on how many times i have tried to think of ways to end my life. to be free of pain. to rest. because i was so tired.
sheeesshh..that was ages…
i am different now.
because now, i have my God.

i’ll have to help that girl..
she mentioned something like “if we break up, i don’t know, i might not be able to attend worship like before, i think for until he’s graduated”
also, she mentioned something about text messages…
she said that he’s always busy…
i told her that it’s all normal.
he’ll be busy, that’s pretty normal especially he’s a senior.
^_^

but what i felt from her, is that it’s not like other girls that i know of,
the girls that i know, they go crazy when the(this is so funny..haha) even the NAME. lol. just the simple name.. they go crazy. like, cant stop themselves from smiling, and then feeling so giddy, and not realizing that they are gushing all over the guy. lol.
that was how it is supposed to be, isn’t it?
but…i am afraid…i didn’t see it quite loud in her..
she’s so still… she thinks its just that.
sigh…
i asked if her problem with the guy is that he’s been ultra super busy that he didn’t have time left for her?
she didn’t deny that, only grew more silent, so i changed the question, asked her if she sends him messages frequently… she said, that if he doesn’t want to reply, then its fine, no texting. >_>

whatever was the guy’s problem was.

he’s irritating.
my girl here, is a very shy and sweet girl…
and him???
what does he do??

i mean, does a “im busy” reply hurt?
gosh, and they had only started going out..
and they’re already like this.

>__>

that’s really sweet. if he’s not all day not making anything to contact the lady,
duh. he’s courted her. gosh. >__<

lol. i only say that. don’t believe those words.
hahahaha. sickeningly, on my part..
even a single text can make my day.
that’s how simple i am.

lol. how few words can make me forget all the worries and pain…
XD

see?

from whom..you ask?
no? you’re not asking?

lol. it’s from my friends.^_^

of course.

sigh….

oh well….

kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

i’m so excited..
to receive messages…

from…

XD

the people i cherish.

good day to all.

remember that time is precious.
we can never turn back time.
so, whatever it is that we can do today.
do it now.
or you may lose your chance of doing it forever.

we will never know.

so cherish the moments that we have today.

GODBLESS US ALL!

Protected: sanity test..hmmXD January 6, 2009

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Forever lyrics December 12, 2008

I’ll worship at Your throne
whisper my own love song
with all my heart I’ll sing
for You my Dad and King

I’ll live for all my days
to put a smile on Your face
and when we finally meet
it’ll be for eternity

and oh, how wide
you open up Your arms
when I need Your love
how far You would come

if ever I was lost
and you said that all you feel for me
is undying love
that you showed me through the cross

I’ll worship You, my God
I’ll worship You, my God
I love you, I love you

forever I will sing
forever I will be with You
be with You

*repeat all

I’ll worship You, my God
I’ll worship You, my God
I love You, I love You

forever I will sing
forever I will be with You
be with You

I’ll worship You, Lord Jesus
I love You
forever I will sing to you, Lord Jesus
forever

I’ll worship You, my God
I’ll worship You, my God
I love You, I love You

forever I will sing
forever I will be with You
be with You

worship You, Lord
worship You, Lord

copyright: Hillsong Publishing